My personal history comes into question from time to time, so rather than repeating bits and pieces of it here and there, I'm posting this summary for future reference. If you're not interested in my personal history and fundamental attitudes, there's no need to read further. Given that I'm describing how my personal practice evolved into what it is today with some brief elaboration on that particular paradigm--which I'm more than happy to discuss in this thread if there's interest--I think it's appropriate for this forum theme.
Here's the question that prompted the following response:
Quote:
But the more I read your posts, the more I wonder how much you actually KNOW of the occult. You say that you've been practicing magic for X years now. What exactly do you do? What results have you obtained so far? Have you tried other arcane arts apart from magic? If so, which ones? What were your impressions?
You asked for it. Pull up a chair.
I started out as a teenager (mid 1970s) experimenting with simple spells, candle and herb stuff mostly, some chanting and that silly doggerel that passes for "spells" on TV, spirit boards, pendulums, automatic writing, trance-ish, OOBE-ish ideas, etc. One thing led to another. In my 20's I worked with some local witches for a few years then bored of the politics, read a lot (a WAY lot), ventured into GD-style ceremonial magick and subsequently did daily developmental ritual work (including many years of "energy" work within that frame), experimented with some Eastern-inspired work as part of that too, and mostly did talismans for the practical stuff. That was the 80's, so the Neo-Spare stuff and general
Chaos theme had my attention for good while too, sigils and servitors, the
gnosis bit, etc.
There was substantial experimentation with various forms of sex magick during periods in the 80s and 90s, comatose-eroto lucidity for example; some S&M play (pain as a path to the gnostic state, which is called
subspace in the S&M scene); something akin to the
Sacred Rites discussed in Neoplatonic literature, ecstasy via utter abandon for lack of a better description; and some of what I guess amounts to westernized Tantric practices.
Through the 1990s (my 30s) my focus turned toward Medieval magick practices, astrological timing as a magical tool, and high ceremonial Goetic-style evocation, fed by a lot of study of Medieval, Neoplatonic, and Classical literature. By the end of that decade, however, my practice was evolving into a more general mode of what I guess can be termed
spirit working with something akin to a shamanic or animistic attitude: the idea that all interactive things can be experienced as a
spirit entity, or an
intelligence that can be communicated and
worked with in a way that effectively harmonizes common goals between myself and the intelligence (or spirit if you will). Stated more simply, it's the idea that anything and everything has a
spirit that can be evoked for magical purposes, including:
- people living or dead, individuals or groups
- individual animals and plants as well as entire species of either
- fundamental dynamics, such as photosynthesis and the carbon dioxide-oxygen exchange, the need to consume animal and/or plant matter as sustenance, even magick in general, etc.
- general concepts like sacrifice, compassion, peace, etc.
- emotions, such as love, fear, anger, hate, disgust, jealousy, surprise, etc.
- social institutions of all types: courts, committees, families, schools, communities, governments, etc.
- and pretty much anything else you can think of
The approach is more shamanic than goetic, in that the effort is less on control and more on finding the common ground between my goals and the entity's fundamental nature, and working toward mutually satisfying outcomes that serve us both. This is my primary magical technique today, and I'd say I've got a good 15 years of practice with it, more if you count the years in which the practice was taking shape.
As for the results I've achieved over the years, one thing I've come to recognize is that it's very difficult to make one-to-one, working-to-outcome conclusions with any certainty. That's not to say that I don't have a history of trying; Heh. I absolutely do. But as I've matured and my practice has developed, my point of view has changed and with that came a recognition that some effects are probably illusory, and some effects while real and important are not necessarily what they seem to be at first flush.
Part of the problem there is that it's a rather all-consuming lifestyle for me. I do magick almost every day, for everything that matters to me, and have done so for maybe 25 years give or take several months-long periods off for various reasons. So which working had what effect really is a mess, not to mention that I don't just do magick either, I do everything I can think of to move my life where I want it to go. Again, what causes what is really just too complex to know for sure. Looking at the arc of my life and the overall effectiveness at achieving my aims epoch by epoch, which I can do thanks to a very disciplined journaling method I've been using for over 20 years, I can see trends that relate to the kinds of practices I engaged in, and I would assess my current methods to be the most efficacious for me overall.
Of course, it's possible that ones effectiveness naturally improves over the course of 30+ years of fairly consistent daily work, no matter how ones practice evolves or what it evolves into.
As for accomplishments that I think magick really helped with? My whole life qualifies but let's see, I'd say the big three are that I learned how to develop deep and meaningful relationships with people (my mate and children in particular), which to be honest I didn't think was possible up to 15 years ago, I earned a Ph.D. (just last year as a matter of fact), and have made at least one scientific discovery so far that stands a chance (small but a chance none the less) of making a real impact on humanity in time. I'm in a position to continue making discoveries that matter in the future too, and I continue to work magick toward that end, pretty every day.
There are two related but also distinct threads running through the years I've just summarized that have to be mentioned: what I guess can be called a generalized Pagan spirituality and also a persistent mystical drive. To explain briefly,
mysticism, to me, amounts to a pursuit of Truth with a capital T, while Religion is mainly about inspiration, awe and wonder at the nature of, well, everything. Magick, however, is about taking action and getting things done. Religion, for me, guides my attitude about what is worth
getting done, and the doing, the magick practice itself, provides many many opportunities to interact in informative ways with Truth with a capital T. So, they're distinct things really, but inter-related, and they all seem to be developing together, so in that sense it's all one thing.
So, if there are questions, particularly about how I practice magick today, how I think it works, what I think can be done with it, what I think the limitations are, etc., feel free to ask.
